10001 Nightmares Party

[Fic] so cold, so lonely (Arcane)

Summary:

Viktor would just like to know why he has to attend this party, okay.

Or: In which Jayce is 100% certain that 1) he has proposed to Viktor, 2) that Viktor said yes, 3) that they're getting married tomorrow and 4) that Viktor is having cold feet.

Notes:

look i've watched like one and a half episodes of arcane and know negative zero things about league of legends, i'm not even gonna try with the lore and characterization and whatnot. this is just silly self-indulgent fun and i'm not sorry <3

Work Text:

"Must I attend?" Viktor asks, picking at his tie and grimacing in the mirror. "And must I get so dressed up? Couldn't I just wear my normal clothes?" At Jayce's forlorn look---Jayce isn't able to entirely hide it---he adds, "Or the fanciest clothing I already own."

"It's tradition," is all Jayce can think to say, mouth dry and head mostly empty. The suit Viktor is trying on isn't tailor-made to him---no matter how much Jayce tried to get him to go for a proper fitting, he couldn't manage to convince him---but it's almost as good. The stark lines of the fabric flatter how his body, and Jayce's stomach is still tied up in knots at the knowledge that Viktor is so. So unenthused about this.

It's their wedding, and Viktor could seemingly not care less.

"You look good," says Jayce, voice too hoarse, and Viktor looks at him through the mirror, raising an eyebrow. He's balancing on his cane while he twists and turns, looking at himself at every angle the mirrors allow. "Really," says Jayce.

"And I suppose you'll be wearing something tailored?" Viktor asks, picking at the seam of the dark shirtsleeve.

"Of course." Jayce walks up to Viktor, stands next to him. He looks into the mirror, and his excitement at how close they finally are to being married, being legal partners in every sense of the word, is nearly drowned out by how... by how little any of this seems to matter to Viktor. He wonders if it's a cultural difference, wonders if Viktor just doesn't love him anymore, wonders if marriage just doesn't matter to him, regardless.

Wonders a lot, and can articulate none of it to Viktor. Despite the many probing questions Viktor has been laying on him, picking up on Jayce's distractions, on his souring mood. Despite the looks and the veiled comments, and finally the flat-out questions, Jayce can't seem to make any of his worries and his concerns and his fear actually emerge out of him in coherent words.

Humming, Viktor says, "You'll look good."

Jayce smiles, warmth pooling in his chest. It doesn't matter, he decides. It doesn't matter if Viktor doesn't care, of if Viktor's changed his mind. They'll still be partners. Just as long... just as long Viktor doesn't dump him, too.

But it's fine. They don't need to get marred.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" asks Jayce as they step out of shop, shivering a little in the cold air and the harsh wind. Clouds lie heavy over the horizon like a blanket over the world, and the streetlights do their best to punch back the dawning night.

"I have done everything on the list you gave me, Jayce," says Viktor, sounding slightly dry. He sighs. "Even if it has been a distraction from our work." And he looks at Jayce the way he has the whole time Jayce has been planning their wedding, like he doesn't understand why they must pull away from their work to focus on this strange thing instead. Jayce doesn't have an answer, and once more Viktor sighs, grip tightening on his cane, looking away from him.

Jayce's heart aches, and he looks away, too.

"It'll be over after tomorrow," he says, hushed, eyes down, "We can focus on work completely, then."

"Truly?" Viktor drawls. "No more meetings, no more hushed conversations, running out in the middle of day because there's an emergency you just have to deal with personally?"

"Well, the council... but they understand the need for privacy, for a while. I don't think they'll mind, us taking a bit of time to ourselves." Licking his lips, Jayce glances a look at Viktor, finds him looking straight ahead. His back is straight and his head held high, and he limps forwards without looking at Jayce. But he doesn't command Jayce to leave, either, and so Jayce follows all the way back to their apartment.

At home, Viktor vanishes into his bedroom, and Jayce stands alone in the living room, surrounded by the work they inevitably take home, and alone in the dark. Looking out the windows, at the start beginning to peek over the band of pink that lies heavy on the heavens.

Slumping onto the couch, Jayce drags his hands over his face, hunching forwards to rests his arms on his knees. He sighs, and the sound seems to echo around him.

"Are you not going to sleep?" asks Viktor, leaning against the door-frame to his room, and Jayce's breath hitches in his throat when he looks at him, light spilling on him from the open door. In nothing but his sleeping clothing, Viktor is an entirely different creature, and yet so him that it makes Jayce hot inside out, his hands clenching. He rests them on his lap as he straights, and he can't look away. "Big day tomorrow, no?" Viktor clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "Go to bed, Jayce."

And so Jayce goes to bed.

He doesn't sleep.

His mind spins over the thousand different ways tomorrow can go, and the fact that he's so far from Viktor, trapped with walls between them, only makes it worse. He aches to look at him, aches to touch him, aches to assure himself that no matter how this goes, Viktor will still be with him. They're partners; that won't change. No matter what.

But in the darkness, alone in his room, staring at the ceiling, Jayce can't quite make himself believe it.

He must have dozed off at some point, though, because he blinks his eyes open in the morning and hours has vanished since he last stared at the alarm clock. He looks at it for a moment now, too, and then he sits up so quickly his spine protests and he almost pulls a muscle, and he grimaces but doesn't stop, stumbling out of the bed. Viktor's already in the kitchen, when Jayce walks out, hand on his slightly aching head.

Handing Jayce a cup of steaming coffee, Viktor sits down next to him, leaning his head on a hand. "Rough night?" he asks, voice still raspy with sleep, and Jayce only mutely nods, sipping at his coffee, ignoring the way it stings his tongue.

"I must prepare," says Jayce when he's drunk the whole thing, Viktor still beside him. They're close enough their arms brush, and their thighs touch, and Jayce can barely form a coherent thought, much less actual words out loud. "For the-" he says, and Viktor's disappoint look steals the rest of the sentence from him.

"I suppose I will see you there, then?" Viktor drawls, drawing math on the table.

"You'll come, right? You will," says Jayce, straightening, eyes widening, a sudden, horrifying predication of Viktor simply abandoning him, of Viktor never even showing up, reemerging from the night. He stares at Viktor, heart in his throat. "V?"

"I will come, Jayce," says Viktor, and his smile is a soft, gentle thing. IT cuts right through Jayce like a knife, always has, and his heart thumps, skips a beat. Shoulders slumping, Jayce grins back. Huffing a little, Viktor rolls his eyes. "Of course I'll come," he says, nudging Jayce's shoulder with his own pointer one. "When you're the one who's calling."

"I love you, too, V," says Jayce, and nudging his shoulder in return. The color dancing on top of Viktor's cheeks, on his ear, is entirely irresistible, and Jayce only aches more. But that's not the kind of relationship they have, and Jayce is fine with that---he only wants Viktor to be happy, and healthy.

But he can't stay. Today is their wedding day, and there's still so many last-minute things to get done. Even with his mother and Sky helping, there's still so much.

"Are you sure there's no friend you want to invite?" asks Jayce right before he leaves, hand on the handle, and he can't help looking back. "I could send a... carriage, or something."

"That's sweet of you," says Viktor barely paying attention, already caught up in more work. Normally Jayce admires this, loves it, gets just as caught up in their work and Viktor, too, but today his stomach clenches tight and his lips press taut. "But that's not necessary." And Jayce nods.

His mother is already waiting at the park, directing people to and fro, and she lights up when she spots him. "Jayce," she says, patting his cheek, and then doesn't say anything more, only sniffling. But her smile is a thing of beauty.

Jayce wishes he could feel as hopeful as her, now. As proud and excited. But the coldness of the worry and the sneaking suspicion that Viktor doesn't want this, doesn't want him, is sitting heavy as a rock in the pit of his stomach.

Still, he goes through the motions.

And when the hour comes and Viktor appears at the edge of the park, walking slowly with his cane, looking up at the sky, where the sun has started to set, Jayce's chest burns hot and heavy, fluttering, and his hands clench on nothing. Viktor's wearing the suit, and his hair is gorgeous, and his jewelry glitters. Jayce can't breathe. He looks at the guest's, catches Caitlyn's eyes for a moment and then his mothers, and he steels himself.

Viktor isn't getting any closer, still lingering, and inhaling deep, chest heaving with it, Jayce goes to him.

"You came," he says, and Viktor smiles at him. Inclining his head toward the heart of their destination, Jayce asks hoarsely, "Join me?" He holds out his arm, and Viktor raises an eyebrow but indulges him, staring at Jayce as they walk down the aisle. He doesn't look away once, his eyes huge and captivating, glittering in the setting sun, and Jayce burns so fiercely inside he's not sure how he hasn't self-combusted already.

At the altar, Jayce stares into Viktor's eyes, entirely helpless not to smile. Viktor smiles back, eyes soft, and they sway together in that way that Jayce love. He doesn't let Viktor go, doesn't look away from him, only nods, a silent sign to to go ahead.

And Viktor's brows furrows.

He tears his gaze from Jayce's, looking around, eyes narrow. "Jayce?" his voice is hushed and deep, and he looks at Jayce with wide eyes, hand clenching on his arm.

"Viktor?" Jayce ducks his head, bends closer to him. Lays his hand on top of Viktor's and squeezes. "Do you... have you changed your mind?" he asks, low and hoarse, and Viktor's eyes widen further. "Do you not want to marry me, after all?" asks Jayce, and shuts his eyes, unable to look at the picture of rejection Viktor's undeniably leveling at him.

"Marry you?" Viktor palms Jayce's cheek, turning his head to look at him, and a finger brushes the edge of his eye. Jayce opens them, eyelashes fluttering as he inhales deep and stares at him, feeling cut down to the core of him. That was... that wasn't a good question, he thinks, jaw flexing.

"Yes," he still says, staring into Viktor's eyes, Viktor's hand a brand. "Do you... I... I understand, if you no longer..." And Jayce can't even figure out what he's trying to say, much less finish a sentence.

Viktor's gaze burns.

"Jayce," Viktor breathes. "Do you want to marry me?"

"Of course." Brows furrowing, Jayce can't help but step closer to him, until they're almost plastered together. Viktor's hand slide down to Jayce's neck, and Jayce can't help, either, a shiver a that, his toes curling in his boots. "Of course I do, Viktor."

"So do you love me, then?" Viktor asks, raising his eyebrows.

"I tell you that all the time," Jayce grumbles.

"One doesn't need love to get married, "says Viktor, and Jayce lips press together. But I do love you, he thinks, trying to telepathically convey the depth of this to Viktor. He doesn't think Viktor notice. But Viktor does say, "And you're fine with tying your life to me?"

"The rest of my life is already tied to you." He inhales deep, Viktor's smell lingering in his nose, and he exhales. Smiles. "We're partners for life, aren't we? I can't even imagine working with anybody else, anymore."

"I can't either," says Viktor. Jayce grins, bright and burning, and Viktor rolls his eyes a little. "But you are certain?"

"I love you, Viktor, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," says Jayce, capturing Viktor's hand and kissing the dry knuckles of it. Viktor's chest shudders, and Jayce grins at him, and keeps holding his hand even when he's no longer kissing it. "Do you want to tie yourself to me?" he asks, so low even Viktor's hard-pressed to hear, and he rests their foreheads together, shudders.

Viktor's "Yes" is a soft, almost entirely inaudible thing, and Jayce doesn't think he's ever heard anything so beautiful. His whole body shivers, goosebumps on every line of his skin, and he swallows, heavily. "Of course I do, Jayce, don't be stupid."

"I think I always am a little bit stupid, with you," Jayce says, and Viktor huffs. It's a gorgeous sound, and Jayce grins, laughs, kisses his cheek. Viktor lets him.

And they get married.

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#Fandom: MISC - TV #Post Type: Fic #Rating: Teen #Status: Complete #Tag: AU #Tag: Angst #Tag: Fluff #WC: 1000-5000