[Fic] but this is such a fine day (Meet You at the Blossom)
- Fandom: 花开有时颓靡无声 | Meet You at the Blossom (TV)
- Pairing: Jin Xiaobao/Zongzheng Huai'en
- Tags: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Fluff and Crack, Pre-Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emperor Zongzheng Huai'en
- Word-Count: 1167
- Status: Complete
- First Published: 2024-11-13
- Disclaimer: I do not own 花开有时颓靡无声 | Meet You at the Blossom (TV) and make no profit from this—it is solely a hobby for fun, with no financial compensation.
Summary:
A woman hands Jin Xiaobao a baby one day, and the next, a man comes to his doorstep and claims he's generously been accepted as the Emperor's concubine for providing him with a son. This is news to Xiaobao who 1) doesn't have any kids and 2) is a bonafide man with all the male bits and blobs.
Notes:
yeah i'm in the mood for silliness and i'm not sorry :D
Work Text:
Jin Xiaobao takes the baby. Of course, he takes the baby, he's not a scumbag!
The woman is running when she spots him hesitating between two different hair combs, and she calls out "Young Master!" in a hoarse voice; so naturally he turns to her, and she shoves the baby into his chest so harshly that he stumbles into the table behind him. "Take care of him," she wheezes out, and lets go of the babe. Xiaobao catches the baby before it drops to the ground, his heart in his throat at the terror of the image the thought calls to his mind, and he's so busy making sure he has a good grip on the tiny, wiggling, red-faced body that when he looks up again, she's long gone. And then Jin Xiaobao kind of just stands there for a few minutes, baby held to his bosom, craning his head as he looks around-
Everything is, distrssingly, normal.
"You didn't see-?" Xiaobao asks the stall owner, who shakes their head before he's even finished. Pressing his lips tightly together, Xiaobao sighs, and looks down at the baby. It's pretty new, he thinks; they're absolutely tiny, no teeth and the gaze doesn't focus on him, just shifting to and fro, and a hand comes loose from the tight wrapping to clap him on his chin. "Ouch," says Xiaobao, just so the baby doesn't feel unappreciated.
So Jin Xiaobao takes the baby home.
He smuggles the little tiny body in together with him, holding the babe tight to his chest, paranoid about squishing them, and turning away from every guard and servant. It takes him a while to reach his rooms, but once he's finally in, he exhales and drops to the floor, Jinbao calling out a distressed "Shaoye," and patting him down for injuries. When he gets to Xiaobao's chest, Jinbao's face twists up into a confused grimaced as he pats over the babe's bulk, tilting his head as he tries to make sense of what Xiaobao is still trying to turn to hide from him.
Then the baby starts crying. Then Jin Xiaobao starts crying—the baby was just abandoned!—and then Zhaocai stumbles into the room and faints.
So. Yeah. That happened.
Things went fine, though! Jin Xiaobao kept the baby warm and fed with help from Jinbao and Zhaocai and Xiaoyu, and the next morning he's gotten barely any sleep at all, but the baby is alive. Xiaobao counts this as a victory while he mechanically eats breakfast, nearly face-planting into the table several times. Only the baby bound to his chest, sleeping lightly and puffing out the cutest, most adorable little breaths, is what keeps him from just sliding to the floor and spending a couple of hours unconscious.
Truly, his self-control is unparalleled!
"Shaoye!" Zhaocai runs into the room, waking the baby.
Xiaobao has no friends. Only enemies. Cursed, wicked enemies.
Trembling under the force of Jin Xiaobao's mighty glare, Zhaocai reports, "There's a eunuch at the entrance, shaoye! He wants to talk to the one who has the baby!"
"Great," declares Xiaobao, exhaling on a relieved smile. "They must have found the parents." And so he goes, baby still strapped to his chest, to the entrance. Where Xiaobao's parents are standing, tense and wide-eyed, by the eunuchs side. Xiaobao ducks his head a bit as he walks closer; it's fine, he assures himself. He's about to hand the baby, so they can't chew him out too much for taking care of him just for the night. It's the decent thing to do, anyway! Who knows what could have happened to the baby!
"Good," says the eunuch, old and bent back, and looks Xiaobao over so briefly that he's almost a little insulted. "You still have the child." Then he says, "Congratulations for successfully giving birth to a son of his Imperial Majesty. As a reward, you are hereby named a concubine to the Emperor and is to move into you new palace most promptly." Or at least that's the gist of it, as Jinbao relays some time later, when Xiaobao is somehow in a carriage with a baby, on his way to a palace.
...He doesn't even know the baby's name!
"What just happened?" Jin Xiaobao asks the universe, and leans strength-less against the carriage wall, jostled during the entire journey. By the time they get to the Emperor's palace, Xiaobao has lost attained a new awareness of the world, has ascended to another plane of existence. He departs the carriage half-sleeping, still, because he's hardly slept in between the baby's frequent needs—which, cleaning the bbay's bum in a jostling carriage is an experience he never wants to repeat. Jinbao and Zhaocai, who mercifully came with him on this weird journey, walk behind him into the palace, and Xiaobao summons his new knowledge of the universe to keep his head cool and his feet firmly planted on the ground while the baby mouths on his hair.
It's a really cute baby, at least. That makes this whole shebang easier to bear.
It turns out Xiaobao is really weak to cute babies.
The Emperor is the most beautiful person Xiaobao has ever seen in his whole life, and when he's been introduced the only thing he can say is "Ghg," cheeks burning bright and baby drool on his clothes. The Emperor studies him in turn, and Xiaobao stretches out his back, holds the waking baby carefully and bites his lip.
Finally, the Emperor declares, "Acceptable."
And so Jin Xiaobao becomes the Emperor's concubine, mother of his only child and first-born son.
Two weeks later, Xiaobao is walking through the gardens, a newly named baby in his arms as he contemplates the colors of the sky, and also if he can somehow smuggle Su Yin in here because it's been weeks and he is very bored. "Cheer up, shaoye," urges Jinbao, "You've made such a beautiful baby, after all. I didn't even notice you were pregnant!"
Enemies, Xiaobao thinks, eye twitching. Enemies all around!
"Indeed," says the Emperor behind them, and Xiaobao spins on his heel, eyes widening. The Emperor, the most beautiful man that Xiaobao has ever known, and whom just looking at murders Xiaobao's brain, is staring right back at him. "It seems like nobody noticed the pregnancy," the Emperor says, and Xiaobao swallows, angling the baby away from him.
"I'm a very subtle person," says Xiaobao, and blinks rapidly as his cheeks burn with heat, his desires rising out of him like steam. He clears his throat and smiles. "It's a pleasure to meet you at last, Your Majesty!"
The Emperor looks at him, and his smile is small but beautiful, and probably the the most remarkable thing Xiaobao has ever seen—and he's seen the cutest baby in the world squeeze his finger, which is a pretty remarkable sight, too. "Come," says the Emperor, inclining his head. And so of course Jin Xiaobao follows, wherever he may lead.
Obviously.
Notes:
a bit of an open ending but i can't really think of where this goes from here lol. i just had a silly idea and wanted to write it, orz